Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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