i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
