how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
