my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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