You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
