I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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