Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
