Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just google imaged poop.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The Olympian is in my bed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
