We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
