First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
