I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
