Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
