i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
