it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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