Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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