So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So vagazzling was a success
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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