Sponge bath it is.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
