is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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