i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
