im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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