The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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