i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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