why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
