Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
