You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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