sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
