could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
