Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
