im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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