Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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