i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
