I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
