You're so nebulous sometimes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
