I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
