Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
