bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
