"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
