before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
