For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
