Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
