she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
