I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
