when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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