I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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