in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
