I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
