Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
