Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
