So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
