Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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