Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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