WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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