i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
