dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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