So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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